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Hello.Fyonna in the house.Malaysian by born,residing in United States currently.Legally 21, but still a baby in Christ.Dealing with equation, differentation, and integration on daily basis.In future, I might be an engineer, just dont ask my CGPA. P/s: I dont bite. :P

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Thursday, July 30, 2009
From The Bottom of My Heart

Will I be able to smile again after this?

It has been a hard time for me for the time being. A lot of things happened so fast around me, without my expectation. It is so hard when I really have to face all this, alone. I really felt so tired living life like this.

It really hurts to know that you care for the others as much as I cared for you. Even though if you are lying to me, even though if you are only getting to play with my feeling from the start, I really just want to hold on what I believed now. Falling in love is just being stupid, for me. I’m the one that suffered so much, but do they even care? Do they even care to comfort; to not make me hurts more than what I have been into? Hell, no! Life is karma, and ironically, I do believe in that nowadays. I used to play around, just flirt and leave them to fix their broken hearts by their own. I just do love to make people fall for me. Yet, I am so afraid of commitment back then. When it was the right time for me to get serious, I get bumped into such situation. I don’t do sharing. I don’t even know how to share. Leave me if you love me. All I wish is to get my part of memory of you to be deleted. Thinking back, I was so ego. I would not go to look so desperate; I would not go to mourning over you. I would not even cry in front of you. U left a big hole in my heart. It was something that broken, and not even me are able to fix it immediately.

“The LAMER thing other than dating my Mr.Koyong is MOURNING Mr.Koyong...”

27-07-09

30-07-09

You see the date difference? I supposed to post the above a few days ago. But then, I cannot go online 24/7 this week due to time constraint because I got a lot of exam! (sigh!)..It does hurt me a lot. Thinking back, did grieve and mourning and every single little tear that I shed for it going to worth? Wake up, girl! I won’t look back. I shall live my life better than yesterday that full of sorrow and misery.

MY NEW RESOLUTION:

1. I am going be prettier

2. I’m going to make a lot of money!

3. I’m going to love myself more

4. I’m going to travel a lot

5. I don’t want to be hurt and cry less than yesterday!

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